It's true..

It's definitly true that you never know how much you love being around someone until they're gone. I've been noticing this alot lately, esp since i've had alot of time alone. I don't realize (completely) how much I like being around certain people until they aren't around. Now I'm not talking about one person here. This is applying to several people, family, friends, etc.. I get so used to them being around all the time, then they leave or go somewhere and I feel weird. I also notice alot when Hayden isn't around. Then I'm really alone. When he's out at his dad's/other grandparent's house I feel like a piece of me is missing.. But this applies for others too. not as much of course because they aren't my son but I feel weird when others are gone too. I'm not the same.... Like friends i'm around everyday or at least every week when we stop randomly i feel like i haven't done something right for the week or day. I guess I'm just used to routine but I am also very used to seeing the people I like being around and when it changes I don't like it lol.

I think i'm just saying blah blah blah so sorry if this doesn't make sense lol....

I guess what i'm meaning to say is, Hold those you love very close and cherish the time you have with them as much as possible. and Tell the people you love that you love them as much as possible or even that you enjoy being around them. It might brighten their day, you never know!

Just like these.

"Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great."

" Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion, and romance, and you find that you still care for that person."

Thinking

As most people know (that know me), I think way too much about things. It sometimes gets me in trouble, but I do it anyways because its like my bad habit or something. Well lately there has been a lot to think about with everything that is going on with me, so naturally its what I do.

I don't understand how people can be so hateful. Some people just enjoy hurting others and they don't mind doing it.. I don't see how anyone can do so.... If I have to hurt someone like if its inevitable it takes me forever to do and i feel absolutely horrible about it. So I try my hardest to not hurt people and if I have I try my hardest to make things better. Some people don't care what so ever. They will ruin people's lives and not take a second thought about it. All they care about is themselves and what they want. I guess I just don't see how people can be so mean...I probably won't ever understand either. Such is life I guess. I'm not sure if this even makes sense. Sorry if it doesn't.

I've also been thinking lately that I can't wait to have my life back to somewhat normal. I didn't realize how much I enjoyed it before it all became a mess. Hopefully I can get things back the way I want them soon...

I've also decided that I'm getting really antsy about getting my tattoos done. I REALLY want them bad lately. If you are reading this and you don't know what I'm talking about. I plan on getting a lot of tattoos by the time I'm 30 well say... lol. Hopefully a lot sooner than that. I will have a full sleeve, and at least 7 others besides the five that i have now. I really can't wait to get them done with. I will love having all of them!

I've also been thinking that I miss having a little baby in the house. lol not that it matters because I won't be getting another one anytime in the near future lol. But it is true that when your kids grow up you miss having little tiny babies sometimes...

Also Hayden will be 2 in less than a month and I think its absolutely INSANE. I don't feel that he should be that old yet. lol. But time does go fast with him. He's so much fun though and is so smart. He never fails to make me smile and laugh. :)

Ok so I think this is about enough for now. I'm sure I'm missing a lot of other things but this is good enough for in here lol.

hehe

" Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly."

"Who ever said, "you can't fight fate," has never truely been in love."

"She learned to say things with her eyes that others waste time putting into words."

Updates of me and Hayden

Thought I would post some new pictures of me and Hayden. He's getting so big and more and more entertaining everyday... Today on my lunch when he woke up I changed him and then he wanted to spike his hair so we did that. then he wanted to take a picture and was making faces at me in the mirror and being silly so we took a picture together. He never fails to make me smile.

We are going to try to start potty training him soon.. He has a big boy potty now but just likes to use it as a chair.. He also LOVES Wearing his big boy undies but still has to wear a diaper under them lol.

He loves going on walks with me (which helps me excercise) and this picture was from last night's walk from my view of course because he does the laying down in his stroller while i do the walking lol.

And I am slowly still making progress of losing weight. I have lost alot but I'm still not where i should be or where i want to be. I've lost 65 pounds since October of last year (believe it or not my doc records say so) but I still have more to lose... So fingers crossed that I can get there ASAP...

LA INK

I must say that I am SOOOOOO excited that the season of the show starts up again tomorrow. I can't wait to watch it. I absolutely love this show. I would give anything to have one of their artists do a tattoo for me. They are all so amazing and they do such great work it'd be an honor.. sadly i live too far away and can't go... so I just watch it instead..

One day I'll be covered alot more in tattoos :)

Love this show!!

Well that's my input on it anyways. Dunno if anyone else enjoys the show but if you like tattoos and havent' watched it you should because its amazing!