I just have to say that I love my son more than anything in this world. He is my everything and always will be. A mother's love never dies it only grows stronger. I absolutely love having Hayden with me everyday, we've bonded so much and its the best thing in the world. He is so excited to become a big brother in a few months. He is protective of my stomach, he asks me to take baby Blake out so he can hug him, and kiss him and play with him. He knows and says that Blake is in my tummy. He kisses my tummy and talks to it. He loves picking out stuff for his baby brother. Hayden absolutely loves NC.
He talks all the time about going over train tracks, being on base, playing with the squirrel at the park, frogs, turtles, the rain and lightening... He also is like a radar for water towers. He spots them even when we don't see them. I think he's obsessed with them. Its awesome. He absolutely loves going to the beach and getting covered in sand while playing with his trucks and then going to wash off in the water and runs away from the waves...
Having him in NC with me and Jason is the best thing ever. I hate that it has to stop every month. It absolutely kills me. I am not sure how I am going to handle it this time with Jason not here to get me to stop crying after an hour. I'm not sure how to describe it perfectly but my heart breaks and gets ripped out everytime Hayden is away from me. It seriously knocks my breath out of me and I don't think it'll get easier. I am not the same person when he isn't with me and I'm not sure how to change that or if I want to. I miss him so much everyday and worry about him because I'm not around or close to take care of him. It is definitly the hardest thing I've had to do in my entire life and I really hope he knows exactly how much I love him and that I HATE being away from him :'(
