Trip to Arizona

On my last trip to Arizona, my time to take Hayden back, I had an exiciting trip. I was there for 5 days this time and had lots to do. I visited with a lot of people, ran errands, got pampered (haircut, dyed my hair, nails done, eye brows waxed), and got maternity pictures taken by Miss Mae Photography (Jess) and had Blake's baby shower. The 5 days went way too fast of course but it was an amazing trip besides having to leave Hayden.

Below are a few preview pictures Jess uploaded from our shoot. It was so fun having her take picutres. We walked around ASU west (which is a beautiful campus by the way) and she took pictures of me and Hayden. Mary and Jacque were there to help keep an eye on Hayden when he wasn't in pictures and Mary got some practice with her camera as well.I wanted to have Hayden in the pictures with me so that both my boys are in the pictures and I haven't gotten updated picturesw with Hayden in quite some time. I plan to use these pictures through out our house as well. I am so excited to see all of them! Jess does an amazing job and I can't wait to get family pictures taken sometime in the future when the 4 of us can make it to Az to do them!!

My baby shower was amazing! My mom, Jacque and Mary threw together a wonderful baby shower for us at my mom's best friend's house (Nancy). They made stunning name tags for everyone to wear with little jungle animals on them, had jungle decorations around and Kelly Revelle made a beautiful jungle cake for us which was SOOOO delicious! We got so many wonderful things for Blake that day. We are so blessed to have everyone love us. I can't wait for Blake to be here to use all the fun things we got. Not too much longer!! I didn't bring the disk with the pictures of the shower to load them on here (I'm forgetful) but they are on my facebook or I'll try to load them another time.

I absolutely loved seeing everyone that trip. It was so much fun!! Love and miss you all!!

My Hayden

I just have to say that I love my son more than anything in this world. He is my everything and always will be. A mother's love never dies it only grows stronger. I absolutely love having Hayden with me everyday, we've bonded so much and its the best thing in the world. He is so excited to become a big brother in a few months. He is protective of my stomach, he asks me to take baby Blake out so he can hug him, and kiss him and play with him. He knows and says that Blake is in my tummy. He kisses my tummy and talks to it. He loves picking out stuff for his baby brother. Hayden absolutely loves NC.

He talks all the time about going over train tracks, being on base, playing with the squirrel at the park, frogs, turtles, the rain and lightening... He also is like a radar for water towers. He spots them even when we don't see them. I think he's obsessed with them. Its awesome. He absolutely loves going to the beach and getting covered in sand while playing with his trucks and then going to wash off in the water and runs away from the waves...

Having him in NC with me and Jason is the best thing ever. I hate that it has to stop every month. It absolutely kills me. I am not sure how I am going to handle it this time with Jason not here to get me to stop crying after an hour. I'm not sure how to describe it perfectly but my heart breaks and gets ripped out everytime Hayden is away from me. It seriously knocks my breath out of me and I don't think it'll get easier. I am not the same person when he isn't with me and I'm not sure how to change that or if I want to. I miss him so much everyday and worry about him because I'm not around or close to take care of him. It is definitly the hardest thing I've had to do in my entire life and I really hope he knows exactly how much I love him and that I HATE being away from him :'(

Update since I haven't been on in awhile.....

So I figured its finally time to write an update. I haven't been on a real computer in a long time and I finally talked my hubby into taking me to the rec center so I could use one to get on and be a normal person instead of just using my phone (which isn't great for typing a lot)... I have a few things to update so here we go....

I've now lived out of AZ for over a month now :( still sad about that.. I love it here in North Carolina but being away from everyone kinda takes the love away from this place. Its so beautiful and I love being 20 min away from the beach though. Its amazing having my husband with me everyday finally and having our house... Some things with the house still need to change but its coming along... Once we get a couch and curtains I'll take pictures of everything in the house (with actual furniture in it) and post them so people can see, either on here or facebook...

Tomorrow (June 25th) I FINALLY get to go home and get Hayden to bring him back here to NC. I can't wait.. I'm not really looking forward to the flights because I hate flying very much, I also hate lay overs (i have two) and the fact that i'll have Hayden on the plane and trying to keep him occupied for that long is going to be a challenge but it'll all be worth it to finally have my baby boy with me again. I've missed him so much this last month. Several times of ridiculous crying and being upset because I am not complete without him. I can't be myself because part of me is missing. I still don't feel like I live here because he isn't with me. But that's going to be different soon since I have him for a month starting this weekend!! <3

I am now 25 weeks pregnant. Will be 26 weeks on Sunday. I'm starting to feel like humpty dumpty. Still not huge but definitly growing and am very uncomfertable. I have been having major pains lately where it hurts to walk or move in general at times. Still working on the long doctor process here but that will definitly be brought up at my first visit. I can't wait for Blake Christopher to be here. I am so anxious to see Jason's face when he is born and just to see him holding his little baby boy. We started putting all his furniture together and got most done. We are almost done then its the decorating. Thinking greens and browns with a jungle theme that we found at Target. We just registered there this last weekend and I can't wait to decorate...

Looking forward to everything that is going to happen this year and for the end of July. Even though I'll have to take Hayden back then (which i'm not happy about) I am excited for the end of july because I'll be home for about a week maybe a little shy of a week to see everyone I possibly can, have a baby shower with all my ladies, spend time with family, and get maturnity pictures taken. I'm completely excited for those. It'll be a new experience because I didn't do them when I was pregnant with Hayden. I barely took baby belly pictures with him, I'm not a huge fan of pictures of myself but I believe Jessica will do an amazing job. And I'm starting to plan cute ideas for them. I am so going to try to get Hayden in a few cuz then I'll have both my boys :)

I think that's good for the updates for now, plus my hubby is wanting to go home :) so that's it for now... I'll try to get on here again before another month goes by...

My beautiful sister

Growing up, when I was in elementry school my parents ran a foster home through our house for several years. I had tons of sisters and a few brothers randomly in my house. It was an amazing experience for me because I realized how privlidged I was compaired to some kids and how much my parents loved me even when I was bad some days. So many kids out there come from homes where that isn't the case and they have to deal with so much pain and abuse its just horrible. No one should ever even think about abusing a child no matter the circumstances. Most kids were in and out of the house within days, weeks or a couple months. We had a few girls that stayed over a year and one who I consider my sister still who stayed with us over a year and a half. We bonded so well as kids and are so much a like it was wonderful to have her for that time. When I was ten she was allowed to move to Maryland to be with her mom again and she had to leave us. I don't remember her leaving because I most likely blocked it out, however I do remember missing her and wanting her home to be my big sister. We talked through letters randomly for a little while and sent pictures to each other and then we lost contact... A few years ago thanks to good ol facebook and myspace i found my sister!! She has a wonderful little family now and enjoys life so much! I have two nephews one named Austin and one named KJ. Austin is 8 and KJ is 2. I am so excited to get KJ together with Hayden because I know they'll get along since they are VERY close in age. She lives in Maryland still with her husband and is a firefighter. I am so happy for her!! She finally came to see us after 13 years of being gone!! We had a blast together!! It was like we had never been apart. We are still SO much a like and could get in a lot of mischief if we had longer together. She was only here for a few days and she left this morning but the time we had together was amazing. I hope to see her again soon on the East coast, she plans on driving down with the family to see us in north carolina and to see the new baby when she arrives. I can't wait to have many more fun years with my sister. Love ya Ashley!

The month of May

I am SOOOO excited for May to be here soon!! So much is happening and I can't wait!!

May 5th...My foster sister Ashley is coming to visit from Maryland.. I haven't seen here since I was in 5th grade I believe and she moved back to Maryland to be with her real mom. I can't wait to pick her up at the airport Wednesday and spend 5 days with her! She is very excited to see all of us and I'll definitly have pics to post after! Trying to get my brother to come from Cali next week to spend time with both his sisters but we'll see if we can get him to...

I also go to the doctor that day too...

May 9th, is my bestie's birthday (Jax) and its also Mother's day and it'll be great to celebrate with loved ones.

May 17th my HUBBY comes home!!! YAY I finally get to see him again. He doesn't get in till late at night but I'll sure be waiting at the airport for him! I love seeing him when he first walks up from the plane. People probably think we're silly but we get so excited because we hate being apart and its just wonderful to finally be back together!!! He is coming home to help me (mostly doing the loading) load up the moving truck to move to North Carolina. We will be here for a few days before leaving to finish loading, visit with some people and head out. We have to drive to NC. It'll be a long road trip but I'm sure we'll have a blast getting to be together!

May 19th..... WE FINALLY FIND OUT WHAT THE BABY IS!! I can't wait!! I've been so anxious for so long to find out what the baby is. Everyone keeps telling me a girl so I hope they are all right because I really need one! This pregnancy has been completely different than the one with Hayden which is expected but I've definitly had A LOT of signs of what they say a girl does... Jason will be home for this ultrasound and I'm so excited to watch him while he sees our little baby. He can't wait to see since he's missed the other visits and pictures during the pregnancy. He also believes its a girl. Then we can finally call it by its name instead of "it" or baby...

May 20th is when we are planning on heading out early in the morning for our trip to our home in North Carolina (hopefully we don't get lost)

May 21st is my birthday! It won't be a big deal this year because we'll be moving during it but I'll finally get to spend my birthday with my hubby and that'll be AMAZING!

(somewhere during this time we'll be Home)

May 26th is my hubby's birthday and we'll get to be in our new home for it and get to celebrate! Its also his brother's birthday so we'll have to call David for it.

There's lots of stuff in between all of this but those are the main points!! It'll be an amazing month!!

Girls night out

A little while ago Jess was up here to visit and a few of us ladies went out. We all met up at Hurricane Bay and had a blast. We didn't really like it there too much because of inapproprite things they were allowing to happen on the dance floor and they refused water when Jess and Mandy asked for water. There was also an abundance of guys that wouldn't leave the ladies alone. Everyone had a blast though, just drank and few (of course I didn't) and danced the night away with friends. Everyone looked wonderful and it was a great night! love these girls :)

Updates

So I haven't been on here in awhile so I figured I should give a few updates.....

Jason found us a house in North Carolina! Its about 6 miles from base, maybe a little less. Its a 1950's house, but its updated and I completely love it. He's been living in it a few weeks now (with his very few belongings)and I'll be moving right after we find out what the baby is.

I recently had my last day at work. I'm happy to be a stay at home mommy now with Hayden he definitly keeps me busy. I was sad to leave because I am close to all of them there but I will keep in touch and visit them when I can. My bestie Jacque just started working there to help Mike out and I wish her the best with it. I know she'll do great and they'll love her working there.

The baby is doing great. I go back to the doctors for a monthly check up and blood work on Wednesday May 5th, to see how everything is going. I am still getting nautious all the time, it still hasn't gone away. I've been taking Ginger Root with Peppermint pills and its supposed to make my tummy feel better but they don't seem to work still... We'll just keep waiting it out. Actually had some actual morning sickness, not so thrilled with that.. I'll be fine though. Still also have been super sleepy still, except at night time when I'm supposed to be sleeping...

So those are a few updates. :)